Don’t ask me about graduation. Or rather, don’t ask any senior about graduation. I’d avoid the topic entirely unless you want to ruin their day.
Over the last month, I have never gotten more probing questions from relative strangers filled with awkward guilt, asking about my future, my plans, and, frustratingly, graduation. Regardless of the time of day, regardless of what I am doing (studying, at the gym, working, rushing to a meeting), people will see me and ask, “How are you feeling about graduation?” I give them the response they want. I tell them I’m excited or ready to leave. Sometimes I just say “bad.” I know they mean well, but it feels like asking me how I feel about an impending funeral.
“Are you ready to be an afterthought to those who used to smile when you walked in a room?”
“Are you excited to lose connection with the people you hold closest, the people who’s love, kindness and care got you through eight semesters?”
“How are you feeling about leaving everyone you care about?”
It’s hard to stomach the bile that rises in your throat as you try and twist your mouth into a smile.
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I came into this university kicking and screaming, a mask-wearing newborn uncertain of what to expect from life. Now I am leaving this university, nails scratching up wood, getting dragged across that stage, not wanting to go.
I became ingrained in this imperfect university. Even with all of its issues and changes (I remember when Build Pizza was still in Highsmith), it is my community. The residents I’ve had, the friendships I’ve made and the professors who’ve taught me are all part of me.
The sound of the quiet rushing water in the botanical gardens before the hurricane knocked down trees and traffic noise polluted it. The relief of realizing Dunder was open on Saturdays at lunch, the pain of heartbreak in the third-floor Founder’s study room. Rearranging letters on bulletin boards with friends, one forgotten, the other soon to be married. I am made up of these memories and more, some of the best and worst days of my life I’ve spent here. It’s hard to see it come to an end.
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If you see a senior you care about, don’t ask them about graduation. Instead, ask them how they are doing and if you can support them. If you do ask them about graduation, make sure you also ask them what you should get them as a gift. We accept Venmo, cash, and credit.
