Couple discusses marriage during academic career

By Tina Scruggs – Staff Writer – cscruggs1@unca.edu

Photo by Harper Spires - Contributor Eric and Amber Frid tell the story of their relationship.
Photo by Harper Spires – Contributor
Eric and Amber Frid tell the story of their relationship.

Eric and Amber Frid recently married, became Christians and will soon welcome a baby into their lives.

Eric, a High Point native and a literature student, expects to graduate in 2014. Amber, originally from Morganton and an environmental studies and new media student, expects to graduate in 2015. They met a few years ago.

“We didn’t really like each other at first,” Amber said.

They were both in really bad emotional states when they met through mutual friends, they said. Eric recently went through two crazy breakups, he said.

“I never cheated, but it was really bad. The first time I met Amber, we all went out in the woods to try and recreate my acid trip,” Eric said.

According to Eric, their relationship escalated and soon they were pretty much dating.

“We were hooking up a lot, and I started thinking that I need to break this off, that it isn’t what I wanted, that I was just being a guy and sleeping around. But all of a sudden it was more,” Eric said.

Over Thanksgiving break, Eric realized just how much he missed Amber. As soon as he got back to campus after the break, he made a beeline for Amber’s room to ask her out, he said.

“Now this part is a bit of a story. My friend also encouraged me to become a Christian. We were watching the movie ‘Father of Lights’ and there was a scene where someone was praying super confidently, and I thought to myself, ‘How do people pray like that?’” Eric said.

Amber said she was involved in a really bad car accident a while ago. She broke all the vertebrae in her back except for one. She was in excessive pain. One night, it was so bad that Amber couldn’t sleep and was crying.

“Now, I’m not emotionally open, so it was hard for me to pray. But I prayed out loud that night, and after only five seconds, Amber turned to me and said, ‘Eric, my back doesn’t hurt at all,’” Eric said as he looked at Amber with concern.

Eric took it as an important sign, and decided he owed this person something. According to the scriptures, people are told to get rid of everything in order to follow God.

“So the next day, I did. I sold everything. I went to pawn shops, Game Stop, et cetera, and I sold my video games, my consoles, my comic books; everything except the television my mom gave me and my Wii. At the end I had $600 in my pocket,” Eric said.

Amber looked at Eric and said she just wanted to support him in it.

“It’s so consumeristic, and it’s negative for our environment. I didn’t really care for it in the first place. And you figure out who your friends are,” Amber said.

Not all of Eric’s friends were supportive. One called him dumb when they found out he sold most of his things, he said.

Eric said his friend encouraged him to ask Amber’s parents for their permission before asking her to marry him.

“He’s always wanted to do it, but hasn’t gotten the chance yet. And he asked, ‘Why not now?’ Since we already live together, share a bank account, we’re enjoying all the benefits without actually being married. And as soon as I’d decided, they pulled up for a surprise visit. They didn’t know Amber was at work,” Eric said.

So Eric took them to dinner to ask for their permission to marry their daughter, and they approved.

“The next day, I went to Kay’s to look at rings. I walked around and I found one that was perfect. They were running my credit, and it came out perfectly with the money I had, plus the amount of credit I got equaled exactly the cost of the ring,” Eric said.

Eric proposed the following day at the Nature Center. Amber was exhausted after spending the weekend with her parents and lunch that day. But Eric insisted that they went on a date.

“I asked him where he wanted to go, and he was like, ‘Well, how about the Nature Center?’ We got there, and I was looking at the otters when I turned around and Eric was down on one knee. He said, ‘Otters are cute and all, but will you marry me?’” Amber said.

Amber found out she was pregnant only a few weeks ago. Taking 19 credit hours, Amber heard that the first trimester is the worst.

“You’re supposed to get 10-11 hours of sleep, eat twice as much food, and you have to give up caffeine completely. Now I was an avid three cups a day coffee drinker, and I started falling asleep in class. I withdrew from one,” Amber said.

Her professors were very nice about it. The professor of the class she withdrew from was excited, and told Amber if she needed anything to come and ask for it.

“When I told Eric, he immediately filled a notebook with potential names. If it’s a girl, she’ll be Lucy,” Amber said.

Amber and Eric refer to their baby as a “love parasite.” They are due right after Eric graduates.

“I thought right after he graduates, I’ll just be like, ‘Here, I got you this,’” Amber said.

Amber and Eric don’t ever want to live the American dream. They believe it isn’t right to live with more than they need. They’re considering teaching English abroad, maybe in South Korea. They want their child to be a part of all of their decision making, and they’ll want to know what their child thinks.

“It isn’t a lot of money, but it’s enough to live on. We could also do missionary work,” Eric said.

Eric and Amber started a group on campus to talk about religion and challenge people. Ratio Christi is for rational Christians and people of other religions or non-religions to talk about the tough questions, have intellectual discussions and think about important things.

“When we came back to school we didn’t have much in common with our friends here. This is just about talking and exploring. We look at history and archeology, too,” Eric said.

Amber and Eric no longer consider themselves two individuals. They consider themselves one entity, since that’s what marriage is, according to them.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *