I need to preface this with: I don’t hate love, but I do not understand the point of Valentine’s Day. Why do we need a holiday to be told to gift or spend time with our loved ones?
I’ve heard it time and time again– it’s because I’m single, that my view will change when I love someone. But that is simply not the case.
Valentine’s Day has both Christian and Roman traditions with connections to St. Valentine and his death. While I don’t plan to go into all of the different legends linking him to the holiday and theories behind his death, he was often known as a sympathetic hero and, what we all know him as, a romantic figure.
To add to the start of the holiday, the Pagan celebration of Lupercalia– a fertility festival celebrated on February 15– was noted to be the “original” Valentine’s Day, but was replaced to perhaps “Christianize” the Pagan tradition.
With all that being said, even under all the different origins of the holiday of love, we have strayed so far from the original point of it: celebrating your loved ones.
Yes, a nice dinner, gifts and candy are all nice to do for your partner, but why can we not just do that when we want to, not because a holiday has normalized spending money?
In the end, it comes down to commercialization. All the stuff you see in stores for Valentine’s Day is a marketing gimmick. How can these big companies monetize yet another holiday? Promote spending money on gifts, flowers and meals!
A successful marketing gimmick, sure. Though the whole idea of Valentine’s Day is to appreciate your loved ones. Can we not do that by just spending time or doing something special for our loved ones?
If you so desire to do something for your partner, make something special. Getting candy, flowers and going to dinner– while all sweet gestures– can be done any time of year. Show your loved ones you love them by celebrating them with something not so commercialized.
That dream closet they want? Build it together. That dream garden? Create it together. The whole point of the holiday is to spend time with your loved ones, and while dinner together is nice, there is so much more to spending time together than sharing a meal.
To double down on my original stance of why we need to be told to celebrate loved ones with a holiday: genuinely, what is the point of being told to do something for your loved ones?
There is nothing worse than feeling obligated to do something and the same goes for Valentine’s Day. If you want to show your loved ones you appreciate them, do it when you feel like it, not because of the pressure society puts on us.
It’s one thing if you and your partner both want to celebrate, but I know so many people who do not feel the need to celebrate Valentine’s Day the traditional way.
I have heard friends of mine say they don’t want their partners getting them gifts and would rather just go to dinner, or spend time with each other and their partners still getting them gifts. That then leads to feeling pressured to get their partner a gift in return.
Yes, gift giving and gift receiving– which is something else I don’t understand as a love language, but will not go into– are common love languages; it should be because it is something you enjoy doing, not because society tells you to.
It feels so much less authentic to receive a gift on a holiday where it’s expected than to be surprised with it just because your partner saw something and thought of you or wanted to treat you.
The same goes for getting flowers, candy or going to dinner. Why not just do that for your partner whenever you feel like it, rather than just those few days a year (anniversaries, birthdays, the big holidays) where you look forward to it?
Consumerism is the downfall of society. These big companies bank on you spending money on their products for these big holidays. It’s nothing special when it comes down to it because in the end, they don’t care about what you or your partner receives; they care about the money and what the holiday does for them. It’s not as special when it’s advertised everywhere.
You should surprise and celebrate your partner year-round, not just on days when it is expected. Love is to be shared year-round. It never hurts to do things out of love for your partner, family or children just because you feel like it.
I would rather never celebrate Valentine’s Day if it meant my loved ones chose to do nice things at random to show their appreciation, not out of social obligation.
